SNL: Why Aren’t Girl Scout Cookies Sold in Stores?
By Tom Ryan
Last week’s episode of Saturday Night Live questioned the whole selling model of Girl Scout Cookies. With the highly covered product only being available for sale for a few months out of the year and through an unconventional distribution method, the show asked, "Why aren’t they sold in stores?"
In the Weekend Update portion of the broadcast, John Mulaney, one of the show’s writers, began his rant by confessing that he was "very excited about Girl Scout Cookie season. I like them so very, very much."
Then he added, "But there’s something that’s always bothered me about Girl Scout Cookies. Why can’t you just buy them in a supermarket? Why are they only available once a year through some weird organization? It’d be like if they only sold Coca-Cola in July and you could only buy it from the Knights of Columbus. Girl Scout Cookies are delicious. They come in thin mint and Samoas and also…other flavors. How come I have to know a child in a beret in order to get them? Just sell me the cookies. You know what I mean? I have American money. Just put them in a store and I’ll buy them."
He further lamented on the limited timeframe for selling the cookies.
"Have some pride in yourself Girl Scout Cookies! You are much more than just the once a year type of thing. You are not candy canes, and you are certainly not the McRib. We don’t need to you leave town for most of the year. You are delicious cookies."
Finally, he raved about the quality and distinctness of the product and questioned the distribution model.
"Do the people who actually make the thin mints realize that they have a best seller on their hands? How long is this exclusive sales contract going to last where they only sell the cookies through a weird child army in tablecloth dresses? You know, according to the Girl Scouts’ website, you cannot buy Girl Scout Cookies online. Do you know what you can buy online? Everything. You can buy everything online."
So in conclusion, Girl Scouts I don’t mean to get on your case but you should take it as a bad sign that in your entire 93-year history no one has copied your business model. No one has said, "You know how we should sell our product? A bunch of little girls in sashes and then everyone can buy them from them as long as they work in the same office as one of their moms."
According to the website for the Girl Scouts of the USA, most of the selling activities take place between January and April, but some occur as early as September.
Discussion Questions: Is the Girl Scout Cookies selling model antiquated? Should the cookies be sold in stores?